I wanted to throw out a quick thought running through my mind.
Someone always has it worse.
This thought came through my mind MANY times while waiting for my transplant. I’ve told my husband a hundred times that as long as my kids are ok I would do it all again. This week has been rough for me. Husband is working insane hours, potty training my three year old, lil miss is in full on diva mode and to top it all off I have a pretty gnarly cold. I started off the week thinking, that I need to get over myself. My husband is safe, my son is peeing in the potty more than he was a week ago, and my daughter is thriving in kindergarten and women YOU ARE ALIVE! I also told myself that there are millions of people who were in the path of hurricane Harvey or Irma that would LOVE to trade places with me, someone lost a child, there are so many people have it worse… ‘Jenna you need to stop and pull yourself together’.
I realized this morning that someone always has it worse BUT my feelings are still valid. So this morning, when the overwhelming crap hit me like a wall I cried. I will not wallow here forever. I do not have a warped perspective on how bad my week is going. I do have feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and a huge lack of patience. I will sit here a minute, a day, maybe two but then I will pull myself up by my boot straps and get back to it. I think our world frequently gets in a cycle of ‘who has it worse’ when really we need to take a minute, say ‘damn that sucks’ and then help each other work it out.
When I was going through my transplant, people would complain to me. Then, frequently they would apologize thinking that I would be offended by their complaining when I was going through something much ‘worse’. I never felt that way. I loved being able to give them a safe space to vent. I enjoyed helping to validate their feelings and make a plan or just listen.
Please understand. I feel compassion and sympathy for anyone going through something hard, horrid, or unimaginable. You should know am here for you. No matter how bad it is. No matter if you think you shouldn’t be complaining because someone has it worse. I am here and I will listen.
Courage, dear heart. ~C.S. Lewis